Part 17: Like a Virgin
MUSIC: Becoming Friends
First things first, let's check out the school store.
Irasshaimase!
Despite what the tutorial said, there's no traditional store option, just this:
MUSIC: Mr. Monokuma's Lesson V3
If you played Smash Bros Melee, you already know how this works. Insert a coin to get one of the presents you can get from the machine, which is most of them.
What you get is random, and some of the presents are more impressive than others.
If you just put in one coin at a time, not only is that kind of tedious, but you'll inevitably get dupes. Put in multiple at once, and you'll reduce the repeat chance, at the cost of only getting one present for all that money. We don't need to do that just yet.
That does mean I get this fucking thing three times, but it's a small price to pay for being thrifty.
There are almost two hundred of these things, so I'll only highlight a select few of them.
Sometimes the game will give you a free spin, even after it already gave you one. I once got a 3x Lucky Chance combo in my old save.
Apparently this machine has Pokeball space compression tech, and it can keep drinks inside from spilling.
Sometimes it's hard to guess which student a present is for, and sometimes it's very easy. I wonder who would like this?!
That's a pretty big dent in the collection we just made, so I'm gonna call it here. I can only stand so much of this when I'm recording.
MUSIC: Becoming Friends
Even though we only have eyes for Miu, we can still check in on everyone else.
A killing game... Why are we being forced to do such a thing? I cannot believe we're being subjected to this purely for the entertainment value!
...I'm worried about you, Kaede. You've been working so hard, trying to help us. I think you've earned a little break.
By the way... There are a lot of weird things around here. Maybe we should investigate more?
A time limit, huh? He wants us to play this killing game so badly, he's doing this!?
I thought about it a lot, but...the only answer I came up with is that nothing can be done...
...I don't want to hear what you would do, and I won't tell you what you should do. Figure things out for yourself.
Nyeeeh... What a pain... This is the biggest pain ever...
Everything about this situation is a total mystery...but there's one thing I do know. A degenerate male is definitely responsible for setting up this messed up killing game!
We are in a space far removed from human society ...yet we still try to follow its rules. That, too, is a burden humans must bear... Kehehe...
You should listen when someone gives you a warning... Or...do you just have some tacky interest in murderers?
Nyahaha, I'm all done praying to Atua. He says He's in a good mood today, too.
Killing game sound mean... Why they make us do that...?
Government-certified Ultimates now find themselves forced to murder one another... Perhaps...this is an act of terrorism.
I-I don't wanna die...I don't wanna die... I'm gonna live!
*knock, knock...*
...
*click*
Fuck off! It'll be 10,000 years before I allow a bitch-monkey like you to address me! Until you evolve into an actual human, just shut the fuck up!
What compelled me to obey her like that?
I'm sure Miu will only use this for its intended purpose.
I took you for an idiot, Kaediot, but it turns out you're actually pretty useful! Heh, I could give you one of my inventions as a show of gratitude!
S-Sour...tits...
Yeah, I'll just pretend I didn't hear that...
Nothing much... I just wanted to talk to you for a bit.
Why the fuck do I gotta talk to you, dumpy tits?
Dumpy tits...?
Just grin and bear it... You can do it... I'm the one who decided to talk to her...
You got no boobs and nothin' interestin' to say! You're fuckin' hopeless!
...
Hah-hahaha! Poor widdle Kaede and her sad, sour, dumpy tits!
Heeeee!? Wh-What the!? Don't shout all of a sudden... You know how fuckin' rude that is?
You're the rude one here! I was holding it in, but this is the last straw!
Huh? Oh, I get it. Don't tell me...
Sadly there's no "fuck that" option, so let's just pick all of them.
Is having big boobs that great?
Duh-doy! A woman can't get anywhere in life unless she's got big tits! Small, pathetic tits are only popular among a certain class of creepers... Wait a minute... You're not tryin' to attract those creepy fucks, are you?
God, Miu! Some things are best left unsaid!
Boobs are just lumps of fat!
That's what all the jealous titless bitches say! Why don'tcha go cry about it, muffintop!?
I-I don't have a muffintop!
Pianists don't hafta do any physical or mental activity. That's why they're all fatasses, huh?
God, Miu! Some things are best left unsaid!
Hey! My boobs are pretty big, y'know!
Yeah? Feelin' pretty confident about that? Then lemme get a feel
Aaaaahhh! Wh-What are you doing!?
*pow!*
Motherfu!
What the hell...? What's your problem? We're both chicks, aren't we...?
That doesn't matter! Geez, what goes on in your head!?
Ah-hah! Those fake tits aren't foolin' me! What's your secretpads, stuffing, or silicon?
Th-They're real! God, Miu! Some things are best left unsaid!
No, you can't! If you keep acting like this, everyone will get sick of you!
Fine by me! A true genius is never understood in her time!
Hahahahaha! C'mon, c'mon! Don't leave me hangin'! I wanna hear you talk more shit!
*sigh* I'm seriously tired...
Sorry, Kaede. Thread says you gotta talk to her again today.
Though you get a quick break this one time.
Huh? Huuuh? Why are you so excited?
Hahaha, sorry! I'm just so excited! I've never had my nails done before!
I'm not *that* good at doing nails, so don't get your hopes up too much, okay?
Okay!
Why are your eyes sparkling so much!?
Oh my god! So cute! How did you get it like that!?
I just painted a pink gradient on them.
With a gradient like this, you can make even plain nails
No, they're short, but they're shaped nicely. This shouldn't get in the way of playing piano.
Umm...come to think of it...
Even if you are a pianist, you could just put on fake nails when you're not on the piano.
Hey, Rantaro! Look! Tsumugi did my nails for me!
Whaaa!? Don't show them off like they're something flashy!
But they're super cute!
They're not...that amazing. Something like this is just plain basic.
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER
Huh!? You can? But...you're a boy?
Haha, no, no girlfriend or anything. What gave you that impression?
Yeah, I guess you wouldn't have one. You seem like you're one of *those* types.
One of *those* types?
But with short nails like yours, Kaede, I recommend a French slant.
French slant? Is that some kinda cooking technique?
Is it a special trick you use to pour grease out of a skillet without spilling the ground beef inside, too? Because I could use one of those.
It'll be faster to just show you. May I?
You'll do it for me? Then, yes please!
Alright then.
AUDIO: Kaede's Nail Art
Oh...!
Even though I said "yes please," now that Rantaro's actually holding my hand...
Whoa, easy there... You gotta stay still, alright?
O-Okay...
Wh-Why am I getting so flustered!?
...
It's okay, I'm almost done...
A...haha...p-please hurry!
...
Ooohh! This is super cute, too! My nails look really fancy with this two-toned design!
Nailed it.
Painting them diagonally makes them look long and pretty! Now, I don't have any with me right now, but some rhinestones would look perfect...
Yeah, they're fake gemstones for your nails.
Hm... You're really good at this, Rantaro.
Maybe you're actually the Ultimate Nail Artist!
...I used to do this all the time.
For...a girlfriend, maybe?
Didn't I tell you? It's not that.
But anyway...Tsumugi's staring daggers at us. Did I do something...?
Her sound bite says "rest in peace."
What should I do? I don't want to just sit around and do nothing.
Oh, be careful what you wish for, hon.
Kaede, it's dangerous to wander around alone, y'know? Watch out! Keebo's standing right behind you with a knife!
...That was totally a lie.
Why does everyone seem so rattled? Atua will give them all a warm welcome.
If you are unsatisfied with anything, please let me know. I will serve you as best I can.
So weird... Why no bugs here? World with no bugs...feel so lonely...
This school is missing something, and I finally figured out what it is! A martial arts dojo! What kinda school doesn't have a dojo!? I mean, come on!
It seems I will be able to see a clearer picture of human beauty here than ever before...
The time limit is nighttime, two days from now. Honestly...l think it will come all too soon.
...
Oh, sorry. I was just...thinking about something.
It's locked. I guess I can't enter.
At least we're one step closer to seeing what's inside.
*sigh* I wonder if there's a way to destroy my entire hard drive from here...
Do you really want to live, or not? Which is it?
Hmph...I guess I don't even need to ask.
It's unlocked. When did that happen...?
Well, that means I can go in, right?
They're mostly educational documentaries. Makes sense, I guess; this is a school...
I don't need to unroll these...
There are a few of them, actually... I guess they need this many to meet certain standards.
Huh?
This door barely opens a crack. Was it poorly built?
Yep. Still broken, even from this side.
What's wrong? You got something you want to talk to me about?
I'm tired of everyone's prejudices! Yes, I'm a robot. But I'm also a high school student like everyone else, you know!?
It feels like we were just given our Ultimate talents on a whim... And now we're in this lousy situation... Being an Ultimate sucks...
Nyeeeh...? Do you want some of my magic powder to cheer you up?
II know! You should kill yourself! You can even make it look all glamorous and shit!
Wait a minute... Are you here to kill me!? N-No! If you kill me, you won't just piss off my fans! You'll piss off all of humanity!
Alright, I'll show you an invention of mine! I bet you're so thankful, you're about to cry!
Huh? YYou're not interested? Whyyyy?
She may be a genius who invents useful stuff, but that doesn't give her a free pass. We got into an argument last time, but this time, I'll set her straight!
With that in mind, I invited Miu again today...
She says that, but she's smiling... That reminds me...when we argued the other day, she looked pretty happy. What's up with that?
WhWhat is it?
Do you *want* to talk to people, Miu?
Huh? I'm talkin' to you right now. Are your ears as worthless as that flat chest of yours?
Ah! Wh-What do you mean, more than what's necessary...?
You should stop saying things that could hurt other people's feelings.
Hey, I'm just sayin' what I'm already thinkin'! Nothin' I say is wasted words!
Only little kids can get away with saying the first thing that pops into their head!
When you're Miu fuckin' Iruma, you can get away with sayin' all kinds of awful shit!
Hoo-yeah! Cuz I fuckin' rule!
And who's letting you get away with this!?
School's not a place for smart people. Waste of time if you ask me... But if I dropped out, all the dudes who whack it to my pictures would get so lonely!
...What do I even say to that? Does she even have friends at all?
Wh-What if I don't...?
I knew it... That's why she seemed happy...
So in other words, you don't have any. Well, it's obvious why, when you're like that.
Well, I am!
Eh...?
Ha, hahaha... The hell are you talkin' about? I'm an inventor, remember?
Even as the Ultimate Inventor, you're only useful to people who need your inventions.
Anyway! While we're here, I think you should get used to talking to people!
... ...
I tried to have a normal conversation with Miu, but I'm sure I used a year's worth of patience.
Hah-hahaha! Not too shabby, Kaede! I think I understand how to deal with plebs like you now.
Well, at least my hard work paid off...somewhat.
AUDIO: Miu Free Time #1
Maybe I'll invent a gadget to breathe some life into that flat chest of yours! Hah-haha!
You didn't learn anything!
Geez, what am I gonna do with this girl...?
Well, that was... fun...? Next time, our dynamic duo makes a move.